tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44258160648769597382023-11-15T09:51:49.608-08:00Raven's Thoughts and Feelings.Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
~ Marianne WilliamsonRavenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-31705884360542382342008-06-12T07:44:00.000-07:002008-06-12T07:59:14.682-07:00Confidence is COOL!!Confidence is <b>knowing</b> our past is <b>forgiven</b> by God and we are in good standing with Him by faith.<br /><br /><br />Confidence is <b>knowing</b> that God is on our side and, therefore, it doesn't matter who is against us.<br /><br /><br />Confidence is security in <b>who</b> <i>we are</i> in Christ. Arrogance is self-reliance because of what we have, who we know, or what we have done.<br /><br /><br />Be confident because of who you are in Christ Jesus. With Him on your side, you <b>can't</b> fail.<br /><br />I went to the Family Christian Book store the other day and saw a couple of books that I wanted to get. Boy Meets Girl - Jousha Harris. and A teenagers Little Black Book. I started reading my Little Black Book and the first subject is How to be COOL without compermiseing your morals and things. Reading though this book I read these things that I wrote up above. They <strong>REALLY</strong> stood out to me. When I look at them and read them I know that as long as Im <strong>CONFIDENT</strong> in <strong>WHO I AM IN CHRIST JESUS ALL</strong> things possible.<br /><br />CONFIDENCE IS COOL! Being confident in who you are, what you are, and what you stand for is COOL! :)<br /><br />a few other things that have poped out to me lately.<br /><br />- For where your <strong>treasure</strong> is, there will you <strong>heart</strong> be also. Luke 12:34<br />- A merry heart doeth good like medicine: <strong>BUT</strong> a broken sprirt drieth the bondes. Proverbs 17:22<br />- Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory adn majesty, domininon and power, both now and ever. Jude 1:24<br />- For to be carnally minded <strong>is</strong> death; but to be spiritually minded <strong>is</strong> life and peace. Romans 8:6Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-59898506157981761582008-05-30T12:44:00.000-07:002008-06-02T08:21:47.184-07:00Examine Yourselves - 2 Corinthians 13:5Are you really happy in the church as a Christian? Do you ever feel that it is a burden to live the Christian life? Do you attend worship just because you think you will be lost if you don't, or because you enjoy it? Are you lie the Psalmist who said, "I was glad when they said unto me,Let us go into the house of the Lord" (Psalm 122:1)? Do you worship "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24)? Does the assembly give you encouragement and strength? Are you really helped by it? Have you missed and services of Sunday morning worship during the year and could you have attended? Have you attended the evening services, Sunday and Wednesday? Do you really feel it is necessary to go at night? Just what does the Bible mean when it says in Hebrews 10:25, "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is"? Would you be willing or the elders to decide to dispense with all services except the Sunday morning worship? If it weren't announced, how long would it be before you found out about it? How long do you think a congregation would exist if they dismissed all their evening services? Is it good to have these services? If you know it good. but you don't attend. does James 4:17 apply to you when it says, Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin? Is it possible that you are expecting others in the church to be responsible for work and then let you attend merely when it is convenient for you?<br /><br /> If you never have any more interest in the Lord's work than you have now, do you honestly believe that you will be saved eternally? What does Jesus mean when He said in Revelation 2:10 "Be thou faithful unto death. and I will give thee a crown of life"?<br /> Have I ever been irreverent in the worship? What does it mean when the Bible says in Psalm 89:7 that "God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of all them that are about him"? Do I talk or by my actions distract those who are sitting near me during the singing or the sermon? Has it ever occurred to me that the Lord is in our presence and observes my attitude? How could one be worshiping "in spirit and in truth" and yet not be thinking about the words he or she is singing? Do I always pray during the prayers? Am I easily disturbed by the surroundings? When the audience stands to sing the invitation song, do i always sing, thus encouraging the unsaved and the wayward to answer the invitation? Or do I, by my indifference and lack of attention. let them know that I DON'T CARE?<br /> <br /> What about my plans for the remainder of this year and of the coming years? DO I sincerely believe that God has blessed me all through the year? When God has blessed me so bountifully materially, and in every way, do I plan to do more for Him in the future than in the past?<br /> Have I purposed in my heart what I will give every week, as the Bible teaches in 1 Corinthians 16:2: "Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him"? Have I spent more on amusements that I have given to the Lord? Will a genuine Christian rob God in offerings? Have you? Do you believe that giving according it you ability is essential to the welfare of your soul, and of the local congregation? Have you ever felt any personal responsibility as to the financial welfare of the church?<br /> How much progress have you made spiritually thus far this year? What bad habits did you conquer? What new talents did you develop? What place in the kingdom can you now fill which you could not fill at the beginning of this year? Don't you believe sincerely that everyone must spiritually, as 2 Peter 3:18 says: "Grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ"?<br /> <br /> Have you placed other interests ahead of you interests in God? Do you belong to an organization or club? How ofter are you absent from its meetings? When one never misses such a meeting of the club, but will not attend the night services of the church, what do you think of his/her faith? If you were sincerely trying to serve the Lord, would you invite friends into your home for a meal or entertainment on Sunday or Wednesday night and miss worship?<br /> Have I engaged in things that will make my influence for Christ less? Am i pure in speech? Am I pure in my association with those of the opposite sex? Have my attitudes toward them been those of a Christian? If every member of the church were just like me, do you honestly believe those who know us would want to be Christians?<br /> Do you have uncompromising moral convictions? Do your family and close friends know it? Does your family think you are a hypocrite? If those with whom you work should unexpectedly attend our worship here, would they be surprised to find you present? Do your friends and associates respect your convictions?<br /> <br /> Have I ever been self-centered and self-willed? Have I spoken words thoughtlessly or in haste that have injured another? Have I used words that were barbed and cutting? Have I ever been insincere to gain selfish ends? Do I consider my self a self-appointed critic to find fault in others? Do I think of myself more highly then I ought to think??<br /> Have you ever had an enemy? Why? Do you have an enemy now? Is there a person with whom you would not speak? Why not? If you are in the wrong have you tried to apologize? If the other person is in the wrong, have you gone as the Lord has taught in Matthew 18:15-18? Can you go to heaven with malice in your hear toward any soul?<br /> Do you pray for your enemies, as Jesus taught in Matthew 5:44: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you , and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you"?<br /> <br /> Do you taken time to be holy? Have you spoken oft with your Lord? Do you feel the need of God and communion with Him? Are you trying to solve all of your life's problems alone? Is not prayer a necessity in a Christian's life? Do you worry although the Bible says, "in nothing be anxious"(Philippians 4:6)?<br /> How many souls have I led to Christ during my life as a Christian? How many neighbors and friends have I ever invited to worship? If everyone did what I have done, how rapidly would church grow?<br /> <br /> Have you ever talked to anyone about his/her soul? Have you ever talked with your won family about their soul? Is it right for you not to furnish your children and grandchildren with good Christian parents and grandparents? How can your home be Christian if your not Christian your self? Would you advise your children or grandchildren never to accept Christ? Would you want them to procrastinate?<br /> <br /> If before the end of this day you had to walk the last mile of the way, would you be ready for the journey into eternity? If you never have obeyed the gospel. do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God? So you trust his promise that He made in Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is BAPTIZED shall be saved"? When the roll is called up yonder. will you be there?<br /> <br /> If you have been an unfaithful member, have you done what the Bible commands of you in Acts 8:22: "Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God: if perhaps the thought of they-heart may be forgiven thee"? Aren't you ready to turn your life around?Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-39247558181291834662008-05-06T08:00:00.000-07:002008-05-06T11:33:26.880-07:00Highlights from my party.<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=IMG_1153.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/IMG_1153.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Tables.<br /><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=IMG_1152.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/IMG_1152.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br />The Centerpieces.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=l_948f691e2be091ad23ea3e845e4f493f.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/l_948f691e2be091ad23ea3e845e4f493f.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br />Kirsten, Racheal, and I.<br /><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=IMG_1103.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/IMG_1103.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br />My Dress.<br /><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Cherokee1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Cherokee1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Cherokee2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Cherokee2.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Cherokee3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Cherokee3.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Cherokee4.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Cherokee4.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Cherokee6.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Cherokee6.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br />All the stuff I got for the Cherokee Children's Home.<br />Plus A little Over $200 in cash and checks.<br /><br />Then... the best part.. <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:180%;">MY TRUCK!!</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></span></span></span><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Mytruck1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Mytruck1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Mytruck2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Mytruck2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Mytruck3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Mytruck3.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=Mytruck4.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/Mytruck4.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br />I have to make weekly payments.. buuut im still glad that i got a truck. it amazing i love it. i love the looks i get from people when im driving it. :)<br /><br />thats all i have for now. ill put some more up when i get the pictures that everybody took. :)<br /></div></div></div></div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-69172391099381175062008-05-04T00:40:00.000-07:002008-05-04T00:51:08.667-07:00Random Thoughts at 2 am..So as I'm sitting here waiting for my DVD to finish I was thinking. Bradleys phone broke friday and he hasn't gotten it fixed yet which means we haven't talked since friday. :(. I got on myspace today and saw where he had gotten on Myspace he didn't say anything to me. I start to let that get me upset and frustrated. And then after my two very best friends went to bed I started thinking about it. I'm sitting here getting mad at him because he didn't say anything to me today when he got on myspace when knowing him he just got on long enough to get on check everything and get off because his parents and sisters went to go see him. Well that made me start thinking about how we often take things for granted. I'm being selfish and getting mad at my boyfriend because he didn't simply say one word to me today when he got on myspace when there are army wives and girlfriends that may not have talked to there husbands or boyfriends in weeks. This small thing made me stop and think about how I often take things for granted. I'm always complaining or down about something in my life when I really should be looking at the things I DO have not the things I DON'T have. I don't realize how many things I take for granted till I take a step back and look. In some ways we take God's love for granted. We do things that we know we shouldn't do because we know that our God is a forgiving God and will forgive us. I can't even begin to list the things and people in my life that I take for granted. This is something that I'm going to try and work on. Not taking things for granted wheater it be money, love, friendship, God, anything. I am going to start working on this.<br /><br />What are somethings that you see that you take for granted?<br /><br /><br />- Raven.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-27659017693257292222008-04-30T20:32:00.000-07:002008-05-01T11:45:43.804-07:00:)So last night was so amazing in so many different ways. Bradley and I have gotten back together. He's moved to a bigger and better school for football, football practice is starting up again so he hasn't really had enough time to talk to me like i think he should. and me being me i blow him not talking to me out of context and make it in to something that it isn't. well last night Bradley and I had a REAL heart to heart <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">convo</span>. we started talking at 10pm and didn't get off the phone till 4am. We talked about thing we had never talked about before. We talked about our feelings for each other. Things in the past. It was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">sooo</span> amazing. I KNOW now that he loves me. After the things he said last night and everything I KNOW that with out a doubt he loves me. He poured his heart out to me told me things that I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">prolly</span> didn't want to know and somethings that he should have told me a long time ago.. but the same goes for me. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">I'm</span> sure i told him somethings about my past that he didn't want to hear but i also told him somethings that i should have just told him from the get go. Last night was amazing. i don't know any other way of explaining it. :)<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">buuuut</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">that's</span> all for tonight <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">I'm</span> so tired i can hardly stay awake.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-59372778419971427042008-04-29T10:39:00.000-07:002008-04-30T08:06:30.990-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:180%;">23 days till my sweet <span style="font-style: italic;">sixteen.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">11 days till we go to the <span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:130%;">BEACH!</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">yay!</span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I made this video for my daddy to be played at my birthday party this weekend. Without my daddy I wouldn't be who I am. He has been my strength when I was weak, he has ALWAYS been there for me. No matter how bad I had messed up. He always supports me in what I do. I can talk to him about anything and everything. Even though he messed up early in life and hasn't always been with me he is still a big part of my life. I love him so much. I don't know what I would do without him.<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b393rVZ8yGc&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b393rVZ8yGc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /></div><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ps andrea if you see this please dont say anything to mammonk/pappaw or jmaw/jeanne before this weekend. :) thanks.</span></span><br /></div></div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-69102733904749641972008-04-27T13:23:00.000-07:002008-04-27T13:51:38.034-07:00And the countdown has started. :)<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:180%;color:#00cccc;">25 days till my sweet sixteen.</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;color:#000000;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">and I can't wait. this year for my birthday I wanted to do something different. so i requested in my birthday invitations that instead of getting gifts for me make either a money donation or some items that we listed to be given to the Cherokee Childrens Home. my church supports them, we called them and asked them what they need and they said that they had 14 teenage girls around my age and they went though hair stuff, tampons, pads, etc. and they could really use these things. so thats what i asked everybody for for my birthday. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">thinking about it just makes me smile. i mean i don't by any means need any things. i have been very blessed and by no means am i in any need of anything. sometimes you dont think about how blessed you really are untill you start thinking about the people that arent and dont have the things they need. i really hope that i can get these things for these girls. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">when i told my mom she didnt understand why i would want to do something like that.. and she doesn't think that people will actually bring stuff for it. i hope that i can prove her wrong and show her that people will do stuff. i love the feeling you get when you know that you are helping somebody that is in need. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">it makes my heart happy. yeah that sounds kinda corney and stupid but i dont know any other way to explain it. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">i just got back from Arkansas yesterday. it was okay. not my favorite state but it was okay. ill put a few pictures up tomorrow hopefully. :) </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">i cant wait to go to the beach.. and to turn 16. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;">- Raven :)</span></div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-70257443213250037632008-04-09T07:48:00.000-07:002008-04-09T08:09:11.464-07:00Pappaw. :)<a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=NewPictures239-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/NewPictures239-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br />This my Great-Grandpa. I call him Pappaw. :)<br />These were a few pictures we took on the way to church sunday. He cracks me up. I am so glad that he has had such a impact on my life. If it wasn't for him and Mammonk(my Great-Grandma) I know with out a doubt I wouldn't be mee. :)<br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=NewPictures237-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/NewPictures237-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br />He's so goofy. :)Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-23525089181639810272008-04-08T12:27:00.000-07:002008-04-08T12:59:19.494-07:00Franklin the Turtle. :)Today as I was driving down Parkerville I almost ran over a turtle. I had to turn around and get out of the middle of the street, well instead of taking it too the side of the road and leaving it I had to take it somewhere safe. So I put in my moms car, first of all bad idea considering I knew mom wouldn't let me keep it.. but I thought it was worth a try anyway. Lol. So going on about what i was doing with this turtle in the floor board it decided that my moms car was its bathroom.. YUCKKK! it peed in her car.. She wasn't too happy about that one. Well when i got back to the shop annnd told my mom that i had saved a turtle she was like and what do you think you are goinng to do with this. I tried talking her into lettting me keep it. didn't work. so then i came up with this wonderful idea that i would take it to my best friends house, put it in a box with a note that said SAVEEEE ME and leave it on her door step for her to find when she came home from school... my mom didn't think it was such a wonderful idea sooo i had to let him go in the huge pond behind kirstens house.. :)<br /><br />i feel good that i saved a turtle. :)<br />i would have soooo put that turtle on her door step if it wouldn't have been for my mom.<br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=turtle2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/turtle2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></span><br /><br /><a href="http://s220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/?action=view&current=turtle3.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd224/ray-venn/turtle3.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br />Byeee byeee Franklin. :)Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-64006024806086745352008-03-31T08:23:00.000-07:002008-04-03T11:07:14.937-07:00Empty Me - Chris Sligh<div style="text-align: center;"><p align="center"><br /><!-- startprint --> </p> <b>Empty Me - Chris Sligh</b><br /><br />I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright<br />To see how it gets in the blood.<br />And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride<br />And found a little is not quite enough.<br />I know how I can stray<br />And how fast my heart could change.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Empty me of the selfishness inside </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">And any foolish thing my heart holds to </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Lord empty me of me so<br />I can be filled with you. </span><br /><br />I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies<br />To know how prodigals can be drawn away.<br />I know how I can stray<br />And how fast my heart could change.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Empty me of the selfishness inside<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />And any foolish thing my heart holds to </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Lord empty me of me so<br />I can be filled with you. </span><br /><br />Cause everything is a lesser thing<br />Compared to you, compared to you.<br />Cause everything is a lesser thing<br />Compared to you so why surrender all?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Empty me of the selfishness inside </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride<br /> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Empty me of the selfishness inside </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">And any foolish thing my heart holds to </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Lord empty me of me so I can be <br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord empty me of me so<br />I can be filled with you.<br /> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Oh, filled with you.<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Empty me.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;">I was looking songs on itunes yesterday and I saw this song. I hadn't ever heard it so I went to youtube and looked it up. Once I heard it I fell in love with it. The words to the song just stuck out. I love it. :)<br /><br /><br /><br /></div></div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-71576071778305053072008-03-20T14:57:00.000-07:002008-03-20T20:09:24.250-07:00Sorry!<span style="color:#009900;"><strong>I haven't posted anything in a while. I have a lot of things going on and a lot of emotions and I don't know how to put them all into words. I don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling because at the moment I don't really know. I know that probably doesn't make much since. But I will do my best to explain. </strong></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#009900;"><strong>Last Wednesday Bradley told my best friend that I was a pain in his ass, too emotional, and yelled to much. Where he got the yelled to much from I don't know because I haven't ever "yelled" at him.. But I can kind of understand where he is coming from. You would think that would be enough for me to just be done with him. But he didn't tell me. He told my best friend all of this. He also told her that he was done and that he still cared about me and wanted to be with me but he was done and couldn't take it anymore.</strong> <strong>You would think that would be enough for me to be done right? No, I can't let go. I'm scared to let go. I'm scared I will forget him, or if I do move on that there will never be another chance. Tuesday he deleted me from his myspace. That's when I broke down. I balled my eyes out. I can't explain why it hurt so much that he deleted me but it did. So I sent him a message and said I want to hear it from you, I NEED to hear it from you, that you want to move on so that i can as well and he didn't say anything. I deserve that much don't I? </strong></span><br /><p><span style="color:#ff0000;">I don't understand how you can smile all day long But cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change, But the people in them do. How you can love so innocently, But it can turn into anger so quickly. How your best friend can become your worst enemy or How strange it is when your worst enemy Turns into your best friend. <em>How forever turns into a few short months That you'd do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said You couldn't live without.</em> <u>How even though you know something is best for you, It hurts just the same.</u> <strong>How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, Think a few minutes of their time is too much time to spare.</strong> How the smell of a person stays with you Even when they're gone. How people make promises, And bear their souls to someone Despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. <em><strong><u>How someone can erase you from their lives Cause its just easier then working things out.</u></strong></em> </span></p><div align="left"><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><span style="color:#006600;">This is something I found on my friends myspace and it really stuck out. I don't understand. Everything reminds me of him, He's on my mind 24/7. I feel a lot of guilt. If I wouldn't have gotten mad, or if I wouldn't have say something, or if I would have just let him have the time and space he needed then we would still be together and happy. I wish more then anything that he would tell me himself that he is done. But I can't take back the past all I can do is move forward. And as hard as it is and as painful as it is <em><u>I HAVE TO MOVE ON.</u></em> If there is one good thing out of it all it would have to be the fact that I have learned a lot. I don't regret being with Bradley at all. Yes we fought and yes there were somethings he did that I wasn't always happy about but we also had AMAZING talks. I was able to open up and tell him things that I have never told a guy. He was my best friend. I think there will always be a place in my heart for him. The only thing I would take back is the way we ended. I miss talking to him. I miss having him there too cheer me up. But I'm working to put God there now. To rely on God to build me up. </span></strong></span></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><span style="color:#006600;"><span style="color:#33ccff;">I want everyone that reads this to know that Bradley was not a horrible boyfriend. Yes things got a little ruff at the end. He said somethings he probably shouldn't have and so I have I. <u>I don't want anybody to think badly of Bradley</u>. Because without him I would not be where I am at now. He came at a point in my life where I was very down. Without him I would not be where I am today. I don't think he knows how much he has helped me. I can't even begin to tell you how important he is too me. Even though we are not together and right now I don't see us being together again any time soon. He is still very important to me. He gave me hope. He built me up. If I go on to much more I might start crying so for now that is all that I am going to say.</span> </span></strong></span></div><div align="left"><strong><span style="color:#006600;"></span></strong> </div><div align="left"><strong><span style="color:#006600;">Thank you for reading.</span></strong></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><span style="color:#006600;">But please please do not think badly of Bradley.</span></strong></span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><span style="color:#006600;">- Raven. </span></strong></div></span>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-64219698490544756052008-03-13T18:25:00.000-07:002008-03-14T15:42:02.445-07:00Goodbye.<div align="center">Your fingertips across my skin </div><div align="center">The palm trees swaying in the wind </div><div align="center">Images</div><div align="center">You sang me Spanish lullabies </div><div align="center">The sweetest sadness in your eyes</div><div align="center">Clever trick </div><div align="center">Well, I never want to see you unhappy </div><div align="center">I thought you'd want the same for me </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">Goodbye, my almost lover </div><div align="center">Goodbye, my hopeless dream </div><div align="center">I'm trying not to think about you </div><div align="center">Can't you just let me be? </div><div align="center">So long, my luckless romance </div><div align="center">My back is turned on you </div><div align="center"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Should've</span></span> known you'd bring me heartache </div><div align="center">Almost lovers always do </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">We walked along a crowded street </div><div align="center">You took my hand and danced with me </div><div align="center">Images </div><div align="center">And when you left, </div><div align="center">you kissed my lips </div><div align="center">You told me you would never, ever forget </div><div align="center">These images </div><div align="center">Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy </div><div align="center">I thought you'd want the same for me </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">Goodbye, my almost lover </div><div align="center">Goodbye, my hopeless dream </div><div align="center">I'm trying not to think about you </div><div align="center">Can't you just let me be? </div><div align="center">So long, my luckless romance </div><div align="center">My back is turned on you </div><div align="center"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Should've</span></span> known you'd bring me heartache </div><div align="center">Almost lovers always do </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><strong>I cannot go to the ocean </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>I cannot drive the streets at night </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>I cannot wake up in the morning </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>Without you on my mind </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>So you're gone and I'm haunted </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>And I bet you are just fine </strong></div><div align="center"><strong>Did I make it that easy</strong></div><div align="center"><strong>To walk right in and out of my life?</strong> </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center">Goodbye, my almost lover </div><div align="center">Goodbye, my hopeless dream </div><div align="center">I'm trying not to think about you </div><div align="center">Can't you just let me be? </div><div align="center">So long, my luckless romance </div><div align="center">My back is turned on you </div><div align="center"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Should've</span></span> known you'd bring me heartache </div><div align="center">Almost lovers always do. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="left">As hard as it is to say Goodbye my lover. If its meant to be then it will happen later on and this is just another step in the way. I just have to trust in the Lord and let him lead me in the ways I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">supposed</span> to go. It's hard to not call him and talk to him esp. since he wont even tell me that he is moving on he told my best friend. I do believe that he will always have a place in my heart. I've put my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">guard</span> up. I'm not going to let someone else hurt me the way Bradley has. I know I have most <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">likely</span> hurt him in some ways <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">as well</span> and for that <strong><em>I am sorry. </em></strong>but life must go on. Well thanks for reading.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">btw</span></span>. if you leave my a comment check back to that post because I will reply to your comments in the same post. :)</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">kay</span></span> thanks.</div><br /><div align="left">- Raven.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><p><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ps</span></span>. i tried to put a video on from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">youtube</span></span> of this song because the girl that sings it sings it absolutely beautiful.. butt it never would show up.. but go to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">youtube</span></span>.com and type in <strong>almost lover by a fine frenzy</strong> and watch the third video down. :)<br /></p><div align="left"></div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-45470074402126486952008-03-11T06:19:00.000-07:002008-03-11T07:13:10.632-07:00Picking up what is left and Moving On!I am picking up the pieces to my broken heart and moving on. I can't handle this anymore. Every time I go to his myspace he has some new girl on there.. and not me. Please tell me I'm not making a big deal over nothing? We haven't talked since Sunday.. He said that he would call me later and I'm still waiting on that call. But I honestly don't think it would make a difference. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough and that I need to change to be what he wants. According to him I'm a burden on everyone life because I nag to much, I'm annoying, I wear to much make-up, I'm to insecure, I cry too much.. I could go on forever. Our whole conversation Sunday was about all of my flaws. Our whole fight was over him trying to "build up" some other girls confidence by telling her how beautiful she is, he puts his life on how fine she is.. two days later we're broken up and she's his third friend on myspace and I'm not on there. When ever I would say something to him about what he was saying Sunday he would just say that he was kidding because he like to hear me get all worked up over nothing. He likes my angry voice.. I just feel as if he doesn't care anymore. If its meant to be then it will work out in the end but as of right now I have to do what is best for me and that is putting my heart back together, getting on the right track with God, and moving on. It will be hard I know.. but it's what I have to do to be me again. I can't go on with one day I'm what he wants then the next day I'm nothing to him. Moving on hurts but it hurts just as bad to just sit here and wait and wonder.. am I going to be good enough today? is he going to call me today? is today going to be the day that he decides that I'm never going to be good enough? is today going to be the day that he shatters my heart all over again? I can't keep on feeling this way. I have other thing to worry about.. Like planing a baby shower for my mom and a sixteenth birthday party for myself all by myself. I don't need to worry about him too.<br /><br />Thanks for reading. :)<br />- Raven.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-18765000824418164362008-03-07T16:59:00.000-08:002008-03-07T18:22:51.325-08:00A season for all things.<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#006600;">To <u>every thing</u> there is a season, and <u>a time to every purpose</u> under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; <strong>a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away</strong>; A time to rend, and a time to sew; <strong>a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace</strong>. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#006600;">Ecclesiastes 3:1-8</span><br /><br />Once again I was reading my bible and these verses popped out at me. Its kinda strange how things in the bible have been <em>popping</em> out at me lately. I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm reading my bible more often and actually paying attention in class and church. And it's not like I'm just sitting down too read.. it's like I start reading looking for something then I just can't put it down. And <strong>I LOVE IT.</strong> It's amazingg. When I read this it really stood out because I have been struggling with my emotions every since Bradley and I broke up. And I can't seem to figure out why.. but EVERY little thing sets me off and makes me cry my eyes out. I love how it says that there is a time to <u>break down</u> and a time to <u>build up</u> a time to <u>weep</u> and a time to <u>laugh</u> a time to <u>mourn</u> and a time to <u>dance</u> a time to <u>cast away stones</u> and a time to<u> gather stones</u> a time to <u>embrace</u> and a time to <u>refrain form embracing</u> a time to <u>get</u> and a time to<u> lose</u> a time to <u>keep</u> and a time to <u>cast away</u> a time to <u>keep silence</u> and a time to <u>speak </u>a time to <u>love</u> and a time to <u>hate</u> a time of <u>war</u> and a time of <u>peace</u>. We were reading this in class last Wednesday and I just started crying.. I hid it pretty well though. That's my thing.. I have been trying to hide my emotions and only let a few people in. Kirsten and Bradley. Even though he is the cause of most of my emotions I talk to him about them sometimes he helps sometimes he doesn't. But that's just because he is a guy and he thinks that I cry over little things. And yes sometimes I do. Sometimes the reason I cry is just because.. and he doesn't always understand. I think my MAJOR struggle is that I'm scared to let my family and friends know that I'm falling again. Just when I thought I had gotten to a place where I was finally happy I'm starting to fall again. I've been here before almost a year ago.. I have come SOO far in a year. But I feel as if I'm starting to fall again. I think it has just been a lot of emotion building up and Bradley and I braking up just kinda put the icing on the cake. I can tell that I'm starting to get to the place I was when I was depressed and its not fun at all. I don't like me depressed. But ever since Bradley and I broke up I just haven't been myself.. I'm <strong>NEVER</strong> hungry.. I'm <strong>SUPER</strong> tired all the time.. <strong>EVERYTHING</strong> makes me cry.. I <strong>NEVER</strong> want to do anything with anybody.. but I'm good at hiding my emotions.. Every one thinks that I'm happy and fine when really I just want to curl up in a ball and cry till I can't cry anymore. I don't like this me but I don't know how to get out of this spot. Bradley is the one that helped me get out of this spot last time. Last time I was like this was before I met Bradley and when I met him and we started talking I had hope that things would be better and they got better. Bradley and I have been on off and on again since July 2007. Even though we live 200 miles apart he has always been there for me to talk to. He has always been there to help me with things. and now he's not like he used to. Now that we aren't together we both kinda do our own thing. Yes I can still talk to him but not like I used to be able too. He has helped me in so many ways. I can't even begin to explain them. Buttt back to the point there is a time for everything. I need to snap outta this and focus on the <strong>GOOD</strong> things I have and not the <strong>BAD</strong> things that are going on.<br /><br />Well that's all that I have time. I hope that this made some since. Thank you for listening. I know it's long. Thank you sooo much for all of you comments it help sooo much to know that people really do care. ;)<br /><br />- Raven.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-55291911881649100402008-03-04T14:23:00.000-08:002008-03-04T14:54:21.213-08:00Proverbs 3:5-6<strong><u><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ffff00;">Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6</span></u></strong><br /><br />I was reading my bible sunday during church and this verse poped out at me. I'm not really sure why it just did. I have put it on my myspace as a daily remember to <strong>trust in the Lord</strong>. <u>Without him nothing is possible.</u> I need to rely more on the Lord and less on myself. I need to put my whole trust into the Lord and let him write the rest of my story.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-58390905688371032412008-03-04T06:11:00.000-08:002008-03-04T06:14:18.473-08:00IT'S A GIRLMom is going to have a Girl. They want to name her Taylor Joann <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Shahan</span>. I'm so excited. I'm going to have a little sister.. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">YAY</span>!! I can't wait. Mom is 21 weeks today. :]<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Kay</span> well <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">that's</span> all for now.Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-38497981522664146382008-03-02T18:02:00.000-08:002008-03-02T18:14:24.703-08:00Happy?I talked to Bradley last night. He called me. I love talking to him. Even though he makes me cry my eyes out we have some amazing talks. We talked about what we wanted in life. We talked about us.. and if we thought we should be together right now and we decided no. That we are just going to let it happen. Kinda like how we met. We just HAPPENED to meet and we just HAPPENED to get together. We are going to take it one day at a time. I told him how I was going to take this time to become closer to God. In us braking up I have learned SOOO much. I can't even begin to explain ALL the things I have learned. All though I want to be with him I believe that this is what is best for us now. We're still going to talk. He's not going any where and neither am I. My best friend was over last night when we talked which helped A LOT. When Bradley and I were together she wasn't sure if she liked him or not.. when she talked to him last night she said that she could really tell that he really does love me and that he really does care about me. Having her support helps SOOOO much. It makes it easier in some ways. Hopefully me wanting to become closer to God will also effect Bradley and maybe bring him closer as well.<br /><br />Well that's all I have time for. Tomorrow we go to see what my mom is having.. I hope it's a girl. :)<br /><br />Thank you all for you comments and prays. :)<br /><br />More later. :)Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-23547482969956907862008-02-28T16:32:00.000-08:002008-03-04T14:22:50.743-08:00Broken.<div align="center">Wake up to a sunny day<br />not a cloud up in the sky,<br />then it starts to rain<br />My defenses hit the ground,<br />And they shatter all around.<br />So open and exposed.<br />I found strength in the struggle.<br />Face to face with my trouble.<br /><br />When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason.<br />Don't you stop believing in your self.<br />When you're broken.<br /><br />Little girl don't be so blue,<br />I know what you're goin through.<br />Don't let it beat you up.<br />Heaven knows that getting scars only makes you who you are...<br />only makes you who you are.<br />No matter how much your heart is aching, there is beauty in the breaking....<br />yeeeaaaahhh<br /><br />When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason.<br />Don't you stop believing in yourself.<br />When you're broken.Bridge<br /><br />Better days are gonna find you once again every piece will find its place!<br /><br />When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason.<br />don't you stop believin in your self<br />When you're broken.<br /><br /><br />Bradley and I broke up today. I don't think I have EVER been this sad before. I have NEVER cried this much. My eyes are blood shot and puffy they burn like crazy. My heart hurts. I just want to curl up and go to sleep. We went to Chuck E. Cheese today. I had fun.. when I wasn't crying. I want to give him a few days and then try and talk to him. Buttttt I'm scared that if I do that he wont want to talk to me or he wont feel the same anymore. I love him I really do. Goodbye has NEVER hurt so bad. I can't even think straight.<br /><br />......</div>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-40988883260388397272008-02-25T07:16:00.000-08:002008-02-25T07:28:22.815-08:00Tennesse.<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Grayson</span> is more than adorable. He is such a sweet baby. Cute as a button. He's so sweet when he lays in my arms and sleeps. It's amazing. In some ways I feel out of place here in Tennessee. Its not the same as being at Matt and Christi's. At Matt and Christi's I feel as if I can talk about anything and everything but here at Rusty and Andrea's I feel as if I have to watch what I say or do. I miss being close with Rusty like I was before he have kids. Yes I understand everything changes when you had kids but Matt and Rusty are everything to me. I look up to them (more so Matt) in so many ways. I look up to Andrea and Christi too. (more so Christi) I miss being close to Rusty and Andrea. I miss when I lived at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Mammonk</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Papaw's</span> and Rusty was still in high school. I just miss the old Rusty. The Rusty that cared about me. The Rusty that used to call and talk to me all the time. Now <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">I'm</span> doing good if I get a call on Christmas. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">I'm</span> glad that I have Matt and Christi I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">truly</span> don't know what I would do without them. They are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">amazing</span>. I look up to them in so many ways. I don't think they know how much they mean to me. I love you guys. :)<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Kay</span>. Well I have to get some school work done. Thanks for listening. More later. :)Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-16507810967152336512008-02-21T19:19:00.000-08:002008-02-21T19:50:10.253-08:00To go back or Not to go back.Today my mom and I were talking. We were talking about going back to school or staying homeschooled. Im at a stand still. I cant decide if I want to stay homeschool or if I want to go back to Red Oak for school. There is pro and cons to both.<br /><div align="center">Going Back To School.</div><div align="center">Pros.</div><ul><li><div align="center">Getting to do normal highschool stuff. (prom, graduation, ext.)</div></li><li><div align="center">Friends.</div></li><li><div align="center">Sports.</div></li></ul><p align="center">Cons.</p><ul><li><div align="center">Having to get up and drive an hour for school everymorning.</div></li><li><div align="center">Getting back in the habbit of doing school everyday.</div></li><li><div align="center">Not being able to go out of town when I want too.</div></li></ul><p align="center"> </p><p align="center">Staying homeschooled.</p><p align="center">Pros.</p><ul><li><div align="center">Being able to go out of town when I want to.</div></li><li><div align="center">Not having to do school work all of the time</div></li><li><div align="center">Spending more time with my mom and the baby.</div></li><li><div align="center">Graduating early.</div></li></ul><p align="center"> </p><p align="center">Cons.</p><ul><li><div align="center">No formal graduation.</div></li><li><div align="center">No prom.</div></li><li><div align="center">No sports.</div></li></ul><p align="left"> </p><p align="left"> </p><p align="left">Im so confused on what to do. I would love to go back to school. If I went back I would go to Red Oak which is fine with me. I love Red Oak. I would have to drive an hour to school, wear a uniform, go to school for 8 hours, work after school, drive an hour home, do homework, sleep, and still make time for boyfriend, friends, and family. More of me is pointing to go back to school because when my kids ask me when im older what was prom like or how big was your graduating class I want to be able to tell them. I dont want to say Oh, I didn't get to do that kind of stuff I was homeschooled. </p><p align="left">any advice?</p>Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4425816064876959738.post-24795478266223922522008-02-19T20:30:00.000-08:002008-02-19T21:40:51.196-08:00He loves me, He loves me not, He loves me, He loves me not.So..I've been "dating" Bradley for almost 3 month now [March 3rd will be 3 months]. Long distance isn't always easy and I knew that from the get go. But part of me thought it would be easy.. HA. was I wrong. In long distance it requires <strong>A LOT</strong> of trust and..trust. Yes I "trust" Bradley but do I really <strong>trust </strong>him. Deep down I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Deep down I know that he loves me. He's proved it a number of times. but how come I can't accept that? How come knowing these thing aren't enough? Even though I know these things I still find myself at a place where im doubting his love. It is usually brought on by a fight or us being busy and not being able to talk to each other much. In long distance you rely 100% on phone conversations. I would love ooh so much to be able to see him everyday. Would things be easier? No. Why? Because we have both been sexually active before.. What does that have to do with anything? I know me and if I were around him everyday I would be presented with temptation that I would not be able to turn down. Needless to say if we were able to see each other everyday we would have already "done the deed". How do you know that? We've talked about it. Does he understand that it's a good thing you two dont get to see each other everyday? No. Why? Because he wants our relationship to go to the "next level". Do you want that too? Yes.. I mean No.. Heck I dont know. In some ways yes because I love him. No. Because he's the first boy that I have given my all since what happend. [if you dont know what happend im sure I will cover it in another blog. I really dont want to keep you here all day. LOL] So much of me wanted/wants this relationship to be different. I mean we met at <strong>CHURCH </strong>camp. He's a preachers son. We have the same beliefs. We were both raised in the Church of Christ. Hes susposed to be different right? In some ways he is and in others he isn't. Back to the main point of this blog. Why isn't KNOWING he loves me enough? Why do I get these random feelings that hes like every other guy. That he just wants one thing and thats it. My answer would be because im too scared to face the facts that he DOES love me and that he IS different. I say that but do i BELIEVE it?<br /><br />kay. im done rambleing.. thanks for listening. :]Ravenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435729273981386731noreply@blogger.com1